Obsession
by Aiyoku Kitsune
Summary: Youko thoughts of Shuuichi Shonen Ai I really like how it came out... it kinda gave me chills writing it.
1. Just you and me

_Obsession_

_Truly a curse..._

_My undead heart had felt a beat... something long forgotten. At first I wished to steal you... keep you far away from everything else and make your body mine. I felt amusement from your speech and pain from you cruel remarks. When is it, that I began to care for you? Everything of the past, I left it behind me... emotions of old removed for my new-found lust. I had come to love you... but you quickly shunned me. I accepted this, reluctantly... forcing myself to stand firm. I had thought to perhaps gain your respect, become.. friends. Like I always had, I got what I strived for.. gentle words of friendship. Only then had it began to itch, my obsession. I thought of how to make you accept me, be a good old soul. Forever planing my silentest protest of logic. I had already imprinted it within my skull, it was impossible, something that should never happen. I bit my lip with fury at those who seemed to challenge me for your attention, wishing the improbable. Perhaps it was a mistake to say it was something I could never have, it only make me long for it more. I forced a smile, being kind and nice to those you cared for, silently praying you'd care for my worthless soul. I stayed by your side in times of pain, unable to understand your emotional wounds. When you asked me for something- I made to to due it with the best of my abilities. I watched as you grew closer and closer... to another impossible love. My undead heart wilted. Truly the pain to see another make you happy... was painful.. yet I was happy.. for your smile. I have always been seen as cruel, but you've respected me... and treated me as a friend. I suppose this made me happy, and perhaps too hopeful. I stoor there... watching you from the dark shadows. Your smile made me weaken, for I knew I would not be enough. Though the painful iront did not end here, I thought to leave you... and never return. I shead such painful tears, knowing it would only hurt worse. I settled with a final creed, only to make you smile. I was brought a strange bliss when I knew you were happy. A feeling no other had matched... Past, present, furture, and afterlife... _

_I beg only for your love, why can I not have it! Am I really that vile? so putrid, so crass! I would give my all if only for your affections, yet nothing! Only if I manipulate you.. I could create a fake love.. but I'm greedy, and only want the real thing- not a cheap imitation... I choke back tears, my form a fake cruelty. You hug me tight, but I know it is not really you. The tears have defeated me, and the fake you worries for me.. and me alone... how hallow... Now if I release you... and speak of my mind, you will surely reject me. I broke my own creed... I do not deserve even this fake love, and I release you. I sigh greatfully as you had forgotten the night, your true smile.. and my body grows warm... Yet at the very same time, I can still feel it in the back of my mind..._

_So here is my obsession, my love, my curse._

_Here in my undead heart... I shall keep my worst._


	2. Fiend, Karasu

_Jealousy_

I am your silver shadow...

_A strange feeling like no other... a thing I shall not forget. I believed I had finally taken my place, neatly knitted myself into your heart. I was wrong, foolish, and optimistic to believe so. As was natural for a growing boy, you took interest in those around you. How I loathed those who caught your fancy... But now, I must draw the line and ask... have you lost your mind? That crow of all beasts, why do you follow that disgusting creature! Do you really palce him above me, scornning me and calling me some lustful cur, why it is -you- who flirt! I do not know who is whose, you for enjoying his company, or me for even bothering to follow. I would like to think you are. The throbbing in my chest hastens to the point I could cry, the pain... I shall keep hold of it._

_I found out he had a hold on you... the trick is too similar to me own Could it be... that he and I are alike? No! I refuse to believe that, that wretched bird is much worse than I am. I... I love you... ... ..._

_But he says he loves you as well._

_Again and again in a mindless repetition, I recapture your body, but he has your soul. The painful feelings I carry as you writh in anger, wanting to go back to him. I hold you tightly, wishing I would awake from this hellish reality. _

_A stab. A wound... you have tried to kill me._

_As I open death's door, you shut it in my face, calling me back from death. Why do you wish to keep me alive? Wait... you are normal once more... I know it is temporary but I can not help but feel over-joyed knowing your care for me has brought you back. Please... never forget that day... that day I choose death if you would not return to normal. I know... I will keep this moment in the sea of my memory. ...It is time to become serious, with the help of another... I plan to pluck that crow's feathers._

_Deception... a fake trust. We quickly over power that beast. I knew your confidence would be his downfall. In time, you are freed. A bliss has over-fileld me. Though as to kill the crow... I have still not been able to. My anger still lays buried deep within my skull. I truly hate him... as how I truly love you._

_...I know I am not something you enjoy seeing though, so for now I gave you peace._

_Forever watching..._

_Your Silver Shadow_

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_Greetings, Everyone! Aiyo here, giving out my first after piece comments._

_Yeah... I felt weird and desided to do continuation of Obsesion, with... ta-da! Jealousy!_

_...Though I personally still found Obsession better. oh and for those who don't know, these little bits are made from pure emotion, I don't put too much thought into them. In truth, I am meshing things that happened while roleplaying along with my own emotions. Though it creates some weird-ass shit, I hope you enjoy them none-the-less.  
_


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